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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30114255">So Hot You're Hurting My Feelings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/swearwollf/pseuds/swearwollf'>swearwollf</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Borderlands (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drabble, Fluff and Humor, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:54:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>623</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30114255</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/swearwollf/pseuds/swearwollf</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rhys’s mailman is an asshole.  Unfortunately for Rhys, he’s also really hot.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Handsome Jack/Rhys (Borderlands)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>So Hot You're Hurting My Feelings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiamondPony/gifts">DiamondPony</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title from the song of the same name by Caroline Polacheck</p>
<p>For Camille.  I hope this makes your day a little brighter.</p>
<p>Thanks to Basia for the quick beta.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Rhys makes direct eye contact with the mailman through the window while he hurries to the door.  This is the third time he’s “missed” this delivery, even though he’s been working from home every day this week, and if he leaves again that means Rhys will have to go to the post office himself which defeats the whole purpose of ordering online, right?  But the other man doesn’t falter, just keeps writing on his missed delivery notepad and maintaining his borderline-aggressive stare while he does it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lunging for the door before the notice can be stuck to it, Rhys yanks it open and says, “You were looking </span>
  <em>
    <span>right </span>
  </em>
  <span>at me, dude!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Up close, it’s unavoidable: the mailman is really hot.  His ridiculous shoulders somehow fill out the uniform shirt in ways Rhys didn’t know was possible.  Dark hair (with an attractive streak of gray, god dammit he’s a DILF too!) is swept back with an artful gracelessness that makes him look like he just rolled out of bed but also like he spent a meticulous hour styling it at the same time.  Even the shorts and the black socks are doing things for Rhys; he didn’t know calves could be that shapely.  Probably from all the walking he has to do.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Perching his aviators in his perfectly windswept hair and revealing gorgeous mismatched eyes, the mailman replies snidely, “Yeah, and you should have hurried up, princess.  I have places to be, yaknow.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You didn’t even knock on the door!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So?” The mailman replies, unconcerned.  He hands Rhys his package (a new graphics card he had to stay up until midnight staring at the website for, waiting for a restock in the hopes that he could snag one before the scalpers did), then a tablet with stylus attached. “Sign here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rhys makes a fool of himself trying to sign the tablet while still clutching his package, but he doesn’t think he can maintain his composure if he keeps looking at the man’s overwhelmingly handsome face any longer.  Blushing fiercely, Rhys fumbles the stylus back into its little holder thing and hands it back.  “Thanks,” he says petulantly, still mostly avoiding eye contact.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He can feel the mailman staring at him, and when Rhys finally brings himself to look at him again the asshole smirks.  It’s predatory and also really unfairly sexy.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Rhys glares in back, the man’s smirk evolves into a grin, which is probably just plain illegal.  “You’re welcome,” he chuckles, before pulling out his notepad again and writing something on it quickly then pulling off the note and sticking it to Rhys’s chest.  God fucking dammit, even his hands are sexy, broad and square and likely big enough to go most of the way around Rhys’s waist.  Patting the note to make sure it stays on Rhys’s shirt, the man smirks at him again.  “See you around, kitten.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then he turns around, flipping his sunglasses down over his eyes again as he walks back to his truck.  Oh no, he even has a nice ass.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Struck dumb by the whole interaction and hot all over from a mix indignation and unfortunate arousal, it takes Rhys several minutes to pull himself together enough to look at the note.  The mailman and his truck are long gone by then.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Scrawled under the smug, gleeful SORRY WE MISSED YOU and the scratched out remains of the ‘attempted’ delivery information is the note: “Text me ;) - Jack,” followed by a phone number.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Scowling, Rhys closes the door and sets down his box.  Then, even though he knows it’s probably a terrible idea and the guy was a complete jerk, he gets his phone and opens his iMessages.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He’s always been a sucker for a well-dressed man.<br/></span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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